Dealing with Conflict

One of the many things I observed this year about people in general is that we don’t deal with conflict well at all.  It does not matter if the conflict is a big deal or a small deal we just don’t deal with it well.  In the past year I have seen people jump to conclusions, misinterpret what another says, outright ignore someone, gossip about someone, be sarcastic, and who knows what else.

What if we all decided just to handle conflict like adults.  For us to do that we would have to realize that sometimes we are the problem.  Let me give you several reasons why I think we are the problem.

1. We think to highly of ourselves–Sometimes we just assume that we are always right and everyone else should just line up behind us and follow.  How often do you find yourself speaking with someone that actually disagrees with you, and thinking who is this lowly person to disagree with me.  Being a leader does not always mean you are right or have the best ideas.  Good leaders can humbly accept their infallibleness.

2. We like to hold grudges–I can’t tell you how many people I have spoken with who are mad at someone else and refuse to talk to that person.  What kind of person actually enjoys holding something against another person.  I have a job and a personality that allows me to accidently hurt some people sometimes.  But I often tell people, look if I have upset you in some way then the Christian thing to do is to come talk to me about it.  Many times it comes down to selfishness.  We assume that if someone hurt us then they should make the first step in approaching us.  This thought only works if they know you are upset with them. 

 3. We have unrealistic expecatations– Why is it that you are the only one who is allowed to have a bad day.  We assume that everyone else should always be in a chiper, friendly mood and if not then we get mad.  Get real people have bad days and sometimes that translates into a bad mood, so just allow people that right.  Which leads me to #4

4. We are to sensitive–Could you just not take everything personally.  Not every comment is an attack on your character or life.  Maybe try not letting everything bother you.  It may even cut back on the ulcer pain. 

This year how about we try for less conflict and if some comes up we settle it quickly and like adults. 


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